Last Friday it was the first night of leaving drinks for my longest friend here in HK. I met him after I’d been here for a couple of weeks and we’ve been mates ever since. Through thick and thin. Anyway, he’s moving back to London at the end of the month. So Friday night started at a bar near work, with loads of people from work and a 7k bill.

Later on, just four of us headed up to Lan Kwai Fong. Four turned into three just after we got out of the cab as one of the lads had lost his phone and decided to go home. We met up with three others and had a few vodka jellies and some champagne. Then, one half of the Naughty Chinese Dorae turned up with two friends, both nice, one lovely. They were clearly on the prowl and not interested in hanging out in, erm, Hardy’s (check out the male toilet refurb!). Anyway, later, Gunther and I decided to go to join them in Mes Amis, where we stayed for ages having drinks and banter. Gunther disappeared - I thought he’d gone home, but an hour or so later he reappeared like a phoenix from the ashes. I spent most of my time asking the half of the Naughty Chinese Dorae if she was in The Mile High Club (she’s cabin crew for an airline) - apparently she’s not in the club, but has caught people shagging in the cabin crew sleeping quarters. After popping into Dusk ‘Till Dawn for a while, we left to go home. The lovely friend, who had just told me she lived alone, asked me if I would take her home. Erm, OK then! Game on Martin! However, the half of the Naughty Chinese Dorae was telling me not to waste my time, that it would be just a cab ride there and back. No way!

She was right. Taxi to Junk Bay, kiss on the cheek, see you later. So I found myself in Junk Bay, in the glaring sunshine, needing a piss. Apparently 7-11s don’t have toilets. Or so the woman said. So, a bit of sneaky bush action and home for 7am. Gutting.

We had exchanged numbers though and she called me twice on Saturday. Once before midday. Are you mad!? I’m probably still drunk. Not 100% sure what I said on the phone to her, but it was probably something to do with her underwear. There must have been some back-channel communications, because later I got a text from the half of the Naughty Chinese Dorae, who told me:

Don’t be too naughty with her. She is not the kinda gal that is ‘funloving’

Riiiiiiight. So is she a prude?

She is looking for a bf, not a fuck or a cock to suck.

So lyrical. Then:

If u want to get with her, be prepared to enjoy taxi rides back n forth to Junk Bay and loads of shopping.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Am I ready for this sort of effort?

I had a conversation with FEASTAD about this:

16:05:43 Mon <FEASTAD> ah that type…
16:06:03 Mon <Shaky> so, are you that type?
16:06:10 Mon <Shaky> I don’t think so … but you never know…
16:06:25 Mon <FEASTAD> i don’t know. i have friends like that. that can really put a hole in your wallet
16:06:45 Mon <FEASTAD> me. i am the financially independent type
16:06:45 Mon <FEASTAD> my mom say i’m stupid
16:06:52 Mon <Shaky> heh
16:06:56 Mon <FEASTAD> she thinks guys should pay for everything
16:07:00 Mon <Shaky> hmmmmmm
16:09:17 Mon <FEASTAD> my thinking is, if the guy pays for everything… it doesn’t mean the girl doesn’t have to pay. not with money but in other ways…

I love her. She’s getting back to me with examples.

So, back to Take Me Home Safely High Maintenance Doris. She’s 31, pretty, lovely figure and and works in finance. From what I remember we had a good old chat. Very nice girl. I’ve not called her back yet. Got to wait the six days.

Mike: So how long do I wait to call?
Trent: A day.
Mike: Tomorrow.
Sue: Tomorrow, then a day.
Trent: Yeah.
Mike: So two days?
Trent: Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days.
Sue: Definitely, two days is like industry standard.
Trent: You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it’s like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?
Sue: Yeah, but two’s enough not to look anxious.
Trent: But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you…
Mike: Yeah, but you know what, mabey I’ll wait 3 weeks. How’s that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number.
Charles: Then ask her where you met her.
Mike: Yeah, I’ll ask her where I met her. I don’t remember. What does she look like? And then I’ll asked if we fucked. Is that… would that be… T, would that be the money?
Trent: You know what. Ha ha ha Mike, laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who’s ready to party.
Mike: Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?
Trent, Sue: Six days.

I’ll break before that.