I am the biggest proponent of taking it easy on Christmas Eve so as to not spoil Christmas Day. Alas, I got over excited and went, as FumierSimon would say, north of easy.
It all happened so quickly. One moment I was having a nice chat over a few lagers, then next I was getting passers-by to hit me in the chest. I still hurt. Then there was the super-slow-mo sex action for the photos with tourists and the old woman who I was convinced was a 1950s Wan Chai mamasan. “I’m telling you, she used to run the bar where Suzie Wong worked.”
I can’t remember what other shite I spouted. I was a leeeeeetle bit drunk. Summed up, I think, by a report to another mate in another bar: “I just saw Shaky in DTD. He’s drunk and surrounded by girls.” Doris was there though, so I wasn’t being too naughty. Just CB.
Consequently, I woke on Christmas morning feeling like shite. However, we had a 21 person Christmas Lunch organised. I quickly burned a Last Christmas compilation CD and we headed to lunch. Was a lovely lunch, but I was just way too tired and had to bail out at 7pm. It was not a TRAPDOOR! A trapdoor is where you don’t tell anyone and just leave. I told everyone I was leaving. I did say I was coming back, but that was a little on the optimistic side.
I didn’t leave the house until yesterday. I was knocked for six. Totally. Only today do I feel full of energy again. Such a dick. Jimmy Two Times was in town again and I hardly saw him. He’s back on Sunday. So I need to take it easy on New Year’s Eve. Right.
Popped out to watch King Kong yesterday morning. Should have known better. Lunchtime show. In Hong Kong. Yep, I had a four year old behind me. The movie opens with shots of real simians. The kid squeals: “Ooooh a monkey!” Who takes a four year old to a 3 hour movie that may be a little scary?! Who takes a huge noisy shopping bag with goodies in it? Who lets their teeth rot meaning they have awful halitosis? The people behind and to the side of me of course! Don’t get me on to popcorn. It’s a frickin heated grain. It’s a 19th century snack! It’s shit. More than that, it’s noisy, especially when masticated cement mixer style. Eat with your mouth shut you Neanderthal. If you are not in the cinema, do you ever buy it?! FFS.
What this guy said. And this guy.
So what did Shaky get for Christmas? A few DVDs, some aftershave/cologne (whatever you call it) and a coffee maker and grinder. I also got a world gift. You have to listen to Karl Pilkington’s take on giving goats as a present (Episode 4) - Who’s happy?
You’ve got a fella over here who hasn’t got a present cos his mate bought him a goat. You’ve got a family over there who are wondering about having another mouth to feed, and you’ve got a goat who’s going “What am I doing here?”
For myself, I bought a 30 inch Apple display. Bloody massive. I’m a little worried it’s too big. I need a higher chair and to get used to it. Great for photos and games though.
OK, a few links:
Scientists Discover a Gene That Regulates Lifespan.
New flashlight - A new infra-red night vision device that sheds strong light on dark objects without emitting any visible rays; letting people see without being seen.
Oh yeah, and Family Guy, series 5, episode 8. Brilliant. Back on form.
30 inch apple display…..finally! I KNEW you would get one.
Got a LIttle Britain T-shirt for you, mate. Signed too!
I got a ‘Pit latrine’, yes really, from someone that obviously thinks I’m full of sh1t!
Glad to hear you had the Christmas I would have expected of you.:) I totally agree, the Ricky Gervas podcasts are incredible. The goat was the highlight here, as was the monkey in the last show. I was hooked right away with my first listen (episode #2) where 42 midgets were killed.
That’s why I went with the 23″ instead of the 30″ Cinema HD. The 30 looked bloody huge in the store. I figured it’d be even worse in the flat. Now I’m wondering whether I should get a second 23″ after all, an open DVI port shouldn’t go to waste.
yes baby! The apple 30 inch screen - that’s what I wanted. Around how much so I can start saving for nexr year?////
18800 for cash. Traded my 23 in for 6k.
> Popped out to watch King Kong yesterday morning. Should have known better.
I thought you were going to say that you should have known better not to go and watch King Kong
Can’t remember the film, but I remember going to see the 10PM screening of a movie in Oz that was obviously going to be full of explosions, etc. 5 minutes in… yep… baby crying. Wasn’t happy.
mate, could you send me your addy (via e-mail, of course)? Got the LB t-shirt here with me.
You’ve got me all jealous! I could quite happily kill a family of four for a 30″ cinema display!