Spotted in the gym this morning: a geezer in trousers that were a little bit too short in the leg and hiked up a bit high over his waist, holding a pink piece of plastic, self-fashioned I reckon, over his glasses whilst he applied hair spray. I almost pissed myself.
Also in the gym - naked dudes in the steam room. Reminds me of a song … “Doctor Doolitle, what’s your secret?” Naked in the, er, steam room. Open your eyes you twat. There is a sign outside saying no naked dudes.
Talking of going to the gym, I was gutted this morning when my alarm went off, in my dream, FEASTAD’s sister was just about to get her laughing gear around the old boy. Fecking alarm clock.
I used to work with this dude. When I say work, I mean he was a contractor working in our team. However, we would tell him to do one thing, and he would ‘think’ and do something else. He used to bring his academic certificates in and put them on his desk. A-levels, GCSEs, weird diplomas. Check out his site. You can click on most things, like the home-made looking diploma certificates, if you need a close-up. Also try his photo on the first page, which links to a video of him talking for a bit, then, inexplicably zooming in on the US Naval Observatory. Also noticed very handy coordinates and times of places around the world in the bottom corners, Chile for example. Not quite I kiss you.
NatWest said it had launched an inquiry after Chris Lancaster, 18, of Tiptree, Essex, received a cash card with the wording: “Mr C Lancaster Dick Head”
Er, sports bars in Singapore? (I know, I know, quotes)
Also from a Singapore search, Caspar found the car we must use to get from the airport:
How to Surf the Web Anonymously With Proxies.
Porn in the woods. Yep, I found porn in the woods too.
The Tit Mouse, erm, I mean Mighty Mouse.
The Top 30 Torrent Sites of 2005.
Licence to Kim Jong Il news:
Kim pilots jet fighters, pens operas, produces movies and accomplished a feat unmatched in the annals of professional golf by shooting 11 holes-in-one on the first round he ever played.
DPRK Heroes -
‘Pyongyang, June 26 (KCNA) — Immortal feats performed by the heroes and heroines are recorded in the history of the Fatherland Liberation War (1950-1953). DPRK Hero Ri Su Bok is a model of all the people for his ardent patriotism and self-sacrificing spirit.
Before going out for an assault he wrote on his pocket book a famous poem to the effect that the life dedicated to the motherland is the worthiest and happiest life.
When the attack of his unit was in the danger of being frustrated due to the enemy’s strong fire power, he covered the muzzle of an enemy machinegun with his body to ensure the advance of his unit. He was 18 years old at that time.
Among the young heroes who dedicated their lives to the homeland are Jo Kun Sil, who, though seriously wounded in his arms and legs, pressed the trigger of his machinegun with his chin, mowing down enemy soldiers, and Kang Ho Yong, who was unable to move any more for many wounds all over his body but threw himself into the enemy with a hand-grenade in his mouth.
When an enemy tank was spotted rumbling up a height while on duty nurse Jo Sun Ok with hand-grenades in her hand dashed forward and destroyed it before breathing her last.
More than 500 heroes and heroines of the DPRK were produced during the war. They include Kim Song Jin, who miraculously survived after covering the muzzle of an enemy machinegun with his body, Kim Ki U who shot down more than 10 enemy planes with his small arms, and company commander Ri Tae Hun who foiled the landing operation of 50,000 troops for 3 days with just 4 coastal artillery pieces’.
Bloody glad they don’t drink in DTD.