A few people have asked for this. The lyrics to There Once Was A Lassy. It’s to the tune of Scotland The Brave.

La la la la la la etc …

There once was a lassy with a fat hairy assey singing La la la la la la etc …

There once was jockey with an upstanding cocky who was shagging the lassy with a fat hairy assey singing La la la la la la etc …

Now Wee Willy Winky was a’wanking in the sinky at the sight of the jockey with the upstanding cocky who was shagging the lassy with a fat hairy assey singing La la la la la la etc …

Naughty Mrs. Macey was a’sitting on the facey of Wee Willy Winky who was wanking in the sinky at the sight of the jockey with the upstanding cocky who was shagging the lassy with a fat hairy assey singing La la la la la la etc …

Filthy Mrs. Southy was a’giving mouth-to-mouthy to Naughty Mrs. Macey was sitting on the facey of Wee Willy Winky who was wanking in the sinky at the sight of the jockey with the upstanding cocky who was shagging the lassy with a fat hairy assey singing La la la la la la etc …

Now Dirty Johnny Rotten was a’shagging the bottom of Filthy Mrs. Southy was giving mouth-to-mouthy to naughty Mrs. Macey was sitting on the facey of Wee Willy Winky who was wanking in the sinky at the sight of the jockey with the upstanding cocky who was shagging the lassy with a fat hairy assey singing La la la la la la etc …

You can go on to make up more, if you can remember them. Mrs. Mitty, Uncle Bobby, etc.