My reasons for being late to work after a big night:

Flooded bathroom
Flooded kitchen
Broken window
Emergency doctor appointment (for internal ailment that no one can see, but it hurts really bad)

etc., all mostly made up.

A London colleague just sent this:

Arrival at work is delayed this morning. This is due to Anthony having to clean up his chunder from:

ETA 10:00am.

I love it. Can’t do that here, they just wouldn’t understand.