Archive for April, 2004

update

Published on 30/4/2004 in miscellaneous. 0 Comments

UPDATE: Found out what the boys in London got up to last night:

Bars followed followed by a Metropolisation. (means going to some lap dance place)

Funny point of the night … Name Erased & The Boss getting a dance … at some point (no-one noticed, not even the dancer) The Boss managed to secret her knickers down Name Erased’s back, under his jacket!! When she finishes, The Boss goes off to the bog, for five minutes the dancer is searching the whole booth for her kacks and starting to get pissed off … The Boss comes back from the bog and flippin’ David Copperfield’s said vestments from behind Name Erased’s head … way better than your card tricks my saaaaan!!!

Yeah, but my card tricks have got me free drinks and entry into clubs!

Anyway, reminds me of another story of The Boss, well three actually, but I need to get to the pub.

I predict victory for the Big Brain quiz team!

spot the difference

Published on 30/4/2004 in hong kong. 0 Comments

My reasons for being late to work after a big night:

Flooded bathroom
Flooded kitchen
Broken window
Emergency doctor appointment (for internal ailment that no one can see, but it hurts really bad)

etc., all mostly made up.

A London colleague just sent this:

Arrival at work is delayed this morning. This is due to Anthony having to clean up his chunder from:

1. The room he slept in
2. The hall
3. The guest bathroom

ETA 10:00am.

I love it. Can’t do that here, they just wouldn’t understand.

secret nicknames

Published on 30/4/2004 in hong kong. 3 Comments

Everyone has a secret nickname right? Especially here in HK, the locals you work with will have a nickname for you, and each other. I just found out my new one …. “The Tiger”. Better than “The Fireman” I guess.

Alas, I don’t really know where this one came from.

team names

Published on 30/4/2004 in miscellaneous. 3 Comments

What I love about pub quizzes in England are the team names people come up with. e.g.

The Mel Gibson Aramaic Experience
The Dead Wives of Evil David Hasselhoff
The Extremely Tall Gary Colemans
The Number Of Times Dave has Sucked Ant Off Is
Marc Hottiger’s Jedi Mind Trick

If you go to weekly quizzes, there are often topical names, e.g.

Get back in ‘ere, Abu Bakar Ba’asyir
Ni Hao, Wanna Pick Some Cockles?
Diego, You’ve Cheated Again, You Fucking Lucky Tnuc.

I love the old, “whatever whatever whatever is” type name, so when they read out the scores, the number goes at the end… e.g.

“Marc Hottiger’s Jedi Mind Trick 49, The Dead Wives of Evil David Hasselhoff 64, The Number Of Times Dave has Sucked Ant Off Is… 45″

Oh, ho ho.

So, tonight is the annual department quiz. I helped run the last two, but this time I want to answer some questions. Can you believe that the other year, no one, not one person, knew where the Sea of Tranquility was or why it was famous. Anyway, I was away when the team name was chosen. Our name? Big Brain. Why are the team names here so shit? Other names are:

The Passion of the Quiz
Asia
Mortal Combat

Cant remember the others. Asia?! What? Think you retards!

For last years bowling evening, the names were:

Strikes and Spares
Turkeys
Break ‘n’ Burn
Smash It
Bowling Link

and, er,

Athletico Shaky Kaiser

Guess which team won the best team name? Ahem. And the overall competition? Ahem. I still have the 100% plastic medal at home.

The quiz is only 2 hours though, not like the 4 hour marathon at The Globe!

bittorrent

Published on 30/4/2004 in geekery. 3 Comments

Never managed to use BitTorrent before, so many clients, so few good webpages to get links, or at least I thought. Tried it out again last night, found some pages, used Shareaza as the client, and fuck a duck, I had the latest episode of 24 in 45 mins. Normally takes a few days with Overnet.

Try it.

chinese emails

Published on 29/4/2004 in miscellaneous. 4 Comments

Miss Mc.T is ranting about people sending out emails in Chinese to a load of people who are not Chinese or cannot read Chinese. Like me, but it doesn’t stop the gibbons in my team sending out crap everyday. I normally just ignore them, they never translate for me, but once they didn’t need to.

Someone sent a distasteful email about that picture of a little girl in Sudan with a vulture watching her, saying she wished she was that thin. Can you fucking believe that? Anyway, there was a load of blurb under the picture in Chinese.

I was so fucked off I replied. Telling her the story behind the picture (Sudan, famine, Kevin Carter, Pulitzer, classic of photo-journalism, suicide, etc.) and how outrageous I thought her comment was. Her reply:

“Wow, you can read Chinese, that’s what it says under the photo.”
“No, I can’t, I just know about that photo. It’s called reading and thinking. Read this, and think.”

Not sure she’s spoken to me since!

the joy

Published on 29/4/2004 in hong kong. 1 Comment

We’ve got a guy here who loves buying afternoon tea. Today, again, but he gives reasons:

1. Welcome the new guy to the firm
2. Today is the monthly pay day
3. Have some fun
4. Etc…………

A few things though:

1. He’s been here for months already and never dared to speak to me.
2. No it’s not, you retarded midget.
3. You’re right there, I can’t think of anything more fun than tea and egg tarts.
4. Like what?

Anyway, don lai cha for me my son, and keep the eating noises down would ya?


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