There is no way I have either the skill or memory to put the last two night’s comedy into words. I haven’t had such a laugh in a long long time.

One of my mates is leaving HK tonight, very short notice, found out Monday, leave Thursday. Yeah, thanks for that. So, two nights left for a bit of fun.

Tuesday started with four of us at The Globe pub quiz, then two more joined, then three more. We were shit at the quiz, or so we thought, when the answers came out (eventually — they sure know how to keep you in a bar for 5 hours or so) we’d done OK. Didn’t come in the top three though. So off we went to The Acre. 4 strawpedos later and a quick trip to some other bar we were in a taxi with Mr. Chung, who, in his photo and in real life, looked a little bit like a monkey. One of the lads pointed this out and started taking the piss, one lad told him to pipe down as Mr Chung spoke perfect English. Thing is, he didn’t understand a word we were saying. We were going dark to Shanghai and Fife. No chance. We got out and wondered around. I’d never been there, the two lads who had were shitted when they came before. The conversation went something like this:

“Yeah, this is it, I remember it now”
“Yeah, you’re right, just up here”
“No this isn’t it”
“Yeah, you’re right, not here. Turn around”
“I need a piss”
“This is it”
“Yeah, that’s where I fell over”
“No this isn’t it”
“No”

etc. etc.

We got in another cab. Mr. Sum this time. We couldn’t make ourselves understood again. So Mr. Sum got his wife on the phone and one of the lads spoke to her:

“Fife Street, F-I-F-E …. Fife! F for fucking, I for internal bleeding, F for fucking and E for elephant’s cock”

We were pissing ourselves in the back and Mr. Sum kept turning round to keep us quiet while our other mate swore at his wife! No go but Mr. Sum had a map. We found it on the map, but it was too late, we all needed a piss too badly. We jumped out and went into the first restaurant we saw, it was some sort of Chinese curry house, with karaoke. We dashed in, shouted “4 Pepsi’s” at the waiter and legged it to the bathroom. Came back to 4 Heineken’s. Great. We were going to have a go on the karaoke, but they didn’t have anything we knew.

So back into the street and another cab. Mr.Yu. Mr Yu put the pieces together and got us there, unfortunately, the place we were looking for was not actually on Fife Street …. “It was last time”, yeah sure.

Eventually I got home by 4ish or something, up at 7.30, felt like death all day, home at 7ish, bit of kippage and then woken by the boys who were out in LKF. Up and out and in the bar by 9.30 or so.