Just got my first retard:

Me: “Hey, try this….”
Her: “I am at work dude.”
Me: “Do it in your head then.”
Her: “I did already when I was on the phone…I did it correct.”
Me: “Jeez, read the third word of each line.”
Her: “Oh haha…what a stupid thing. I didn’t notice that AT ALL”
Me: “You know what that means!?”
Her: “You are a fucking asshole?”

Ya, she knows me well.